I have to admit, there is a blind spot with some Satanists that I am noticing. It’s been cropping up like a petulant plant in hell’s garden. It can be a potential pitfall, a misstep, a blunder, a stumbling block that can make a bumbling pratfall for anyone who treads the left-hand path if one is not careful. I will cease with my attempts at building suspense and just come out with it: I have seen several Satanists who turn a blind eye (whether it is through ignorance or not viewing it as a problem in the first place) to the throngs of those I like to call “Secular Puritans.” A lot of satanists–particularly those who are going through the growing pains of the second-puberty that is first-phase satanism–gladly lambast religiosity, and rightfully so. But they leave the members of the herd that don’t fall into any of the camps of Abrahamic faith, but still have several of the same shrill behavior that is just as irritating–and sometimes dangerous–as any Bible thumper or zealot. Criticism of religion is a ‘no-duh’ at this junction, to the point where it is no longer controversial to castigate religion on any mainstream viewing program. Of course, churches are panicking; empty pew syndrome is a real thing, after all. But members of the herd are going to be just that: sheep and livestock that will follow without question or give any critical thought to why they believe or think the way they do on any topic–religious or otherwise. They haven’t moved past religious delusion; they just gave that same delusion a different costume. While it may seem that this diminishing of religious adherence is a good thing, there is something down the road coming that could lead to zealotry that is equally as bad. Or maybe even worse: Secular Puritanism. What is secular Puritanism? Think of what a Puritan is and strip away all ideas of the unreality of the afterlife, god, heaven, and hell, and you are left with a very repressed and strange beast that sucks away all the joy out of life if you let it. Secular Puritanism is a tool in the demoralization and should be avoided like any other spiritual pipe dream that would detract from vital existence. While the examples I am going to draw from are anecdotal, I believe they are worth sharing. During most of my adult life, the shaming, scolding, accusations, and all the hard-ass "everyone needs to walk on eggshells lest someone dies from shock" have come from the people who call themselves open-minded or tolerant™ the most. I have run across the religious crazies, but they seem to be a dying breed and have been replaced by suburbanite Karens (sad that sane women who are actually named Karen have to be saddled with such a negative meme, my condolences) and concerned Calebs. Never a fun moment around these folks. Speaking of religion, however, these same idiots throw a conniption fit if anyone criticizes Islam, the least tolerant or open-minded religion on planet Earth. From that statement alone, if any of them are reading this, I’m imagining their knuckles turning white from gripping so tightly. They believe they have thrown off the shackles of religion, but fervently hold to their social, political, and ideological views with such gusto that they come across as rabid as any bible nut. These ninnies tend to be more on the political side of things and can be found on both the left and right aisles of the spectrum. Sorry to rain on your parade, but I will be neither “owning the libs” nor “triggering the cons,” as several of you fall into the camp of the craziness in question. One could be ‘roaming the earth about the earth and bothering no one,’ and one of these types will talk your ear off ad nauseam about whatever their pet peeve is. The doom-and-gloom social issue cause-du-jour: the clothes you wear are offensive, the music you listen to is bad, what you find attractive in a partner is “problematic.” I would shrug off these annoyances more if these puritans were not the coddled cry-bullies that play victim at every turn whenever someone calls them out for habitual line-stepping. A prime example is the bigot who consistently harasses a person, using racial epithets, and acts shocked when they get punched in the face and kick up a fuss, demanding “justice.” Or how about those ne'er-do-wells who, in their time-wasting crusade, tried to destroy classic art to “stop oil.” As if destroying things better than they are is going to get anyone to convert to their ideology (Say what you will about him, but shock author Jim Goad, a man who was proud that he takes no prisoners, wrote a very entertaining book on this phenomenon called The New Church Ladies, which is worth a gander, if so inclined). Most of these types don’t have any sincere ideology, but do it to showcase their good-guy badges and ensure everyone is blinded by how shiny they are. It's no surprise that many resort to frustrating antics or copy-paste styles of dress and talk to make sure everyone has all eyes on them, and that any slight disagreement is met with a thrashing. Solipsism at its finest. Rest assured, if it were not for the various echo chambers- be they noxious message boards, mainstream media that only reports on the views and opinions of their side, or rallies where chanting slogans like brain-dead repetitionists is par for the course–these types would have nothing to live for. When one movement fails, they move on to the next; there is always something to be needlessly afraid of or outraged about. It is also noteworthy that the rabble-rousers of this sort are adept at the art of the double standard. But then again, if they didn’t have double standards, they would not have any standards at all. Those are the annoying foot soldiers who make up most of the troops. But the secular puritan is more than just one breed. The most dangerous ones are smaller in number but pack more of a wallop since they are more than happy to not only throw anyone who disagrees with them under the bus–but also do the same to members of their own ranks. Consistently. I personally know someone who could be considered one of the foot soldiers of secular puritanicalism and, when away from his compatriots, he admitted to me that “you’re right, we sure do eat our own a lot.” A sad admission, but I will submit it as evidence to prove my point. It gets worse from there, because another facet of this breed of secular puritan that makes them more dangerous than their counterparts is that they are true believers. What are these ersatz religionists going to do with themselves now that they have no delusions of a sky-daddy above but still hold on to several of the same neuroses? Build a utopia on Earth, of course! This is where things get truly worrying with these types. They have removed the padlocks of old religion only to clamp the chains of state-religion upon their collective gullets. These types also have their own devils and scapegoats–just like organized religion. Talk to any member of the various proverbial denominations, and they'll point to some group or thing as the cause of all their problems in life. Ad infinitum, they will blame someone except themselves for their failures and shortcomings: whites, blacks, immigrants, jews, men, women, straight people, gay people, this ethnic group, that ethnic group, cow farts, people who paint their houses black, etc. In their little minds, they believe that, “Oh, if only (insert group here) were not around, we’d have heaven on earth!” Hyperbolic? I think not. Recent history has shown that those who try to build heaven upon Earth go down some bleak paths of herd conformity–which means a bad time for everyone. This foolish idealism and a forgetfulness of past orthodoxy lead to a repetition of tragedy and destruction. Study about the cultural revolution in China, for example, and you will see some chilling parallels with what is happening right now–particularly in America. Maoist China is not the only example; if you study history and pay attention to patterns in modern times, you can even see inklings of the fascist revolution in 1920s Italy bubbling and brewing, waiting for the right opportunity. The similarity between these two events is that both Mao and Mussolini hated old religion and instead tried to create a new system through cults of personality and state maximalism. Same players and stage, different costumes. For anyone who has two brain cells to rub together, “heaven on earth” is a spiritual pipe dream. So how does the Satanist deal with such things? A good place to start is by reading (or re-reading) the essay by LaVey called A Medicine for Melancholy or How to Avoid the DP’s. (The Devil’s Notebook, pg. 13). I have read it a few times, and the conclusion I have made is to avoid unnecessary drama as much as one can. In other words, the only DP’s (which in the case of the essay means “Demoralization Process”) I would never avoid is the fun kind, if you know what I mean. It is a rich essay filled with timely advice that has only become more relevant as time has gone on, exacerbated by the advent of social media and on-demand outrage platforms where doom-scrolling is the name of the game. If one can, aside from professional endeavors or lucrative connections, it might be wise to severely limit or remove social media from your life. Another tactic worth considering is never letting politics become a focal point in life. This is not an admonition to avoid it altogether; the Church of Satan has no policy on politics, and if the Satanist in question wants to be an activist for a cause he or she cares about–then by all means do so. But one of the common threads I have seen about people who have embraced the religion of secular puritanicalism is a compulsion towards politics. Whether they're left or right, these kinds of folks are never content, let alone happy. And what seems like a new political movement or idea, nine times out of ten, is some foolish endeavor repackaged and resold by those intelligent enough to fleece the rubes. When it comes to anything else in life, a Satanist should indulge in things but never let it get to the stage of compulsion. A Satanist should be the master of their life and not let the lives around them have mastery over it. While the shackles of repressive religions have loosened in many parts of the modern world, the guard of each Satanist must remain vigilant lest they fall victim to other forms of repression and vampirism. Anything that limits the satanist, drains their energy, or tries to use sneaky means to berate and bully into submission must be met with as much hostility as any holy roller or religious extremist.
Hail Satan!
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