Walk on the Third Side

  “ Satan represents all of the so-called sins as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!” -The 8th Satanic Statement If I were to be pressed by anyone to state which of the so-called “sins” is my favorite, it would be a tough choice. I dig sloth because who does not like to sleep in on a Sunday when so many Christians (some of my family members included) are forced to go to boring religious gatherings? Gluttony is also a fun time for me—especially regarding sweets. Do not let my slim frame fool you, dear reader; I love to eat sumptuous foods! Pride is also something I indulge in with, well,  pride.  I like a good suit and jewelry as much as the next warlock, and who doesn't like it when someone notices and says, “hey, lookin' good!” But if there is one single, solitary sin that I find the most gratification from—the one so-called foible that others try very hard to discourage me from; it would have to be  wrath . Why that one? Wrath is my favorite “sin”

  Some may say, "this is exposing too much" or "you're throwing yourself out to the wolves here." I'm not worried about that. Something that has been bubbling forth inside me for a while, something I grapple with, and this writing is a means for me to rectify this personal problem. One thing is for sure, it is, without a doubt, a cheaper form of therapy. Satanism warns us against hypocritical self-deceit, so here goes. I struggle with self-confidence and anxiety. I have been for several years. Chalk it up to upbringing, bad childhood experiences, my unique brain chemistry, or just plain being the weirdo that I am—I have an issue with self-image. Yes, it is not nearly as bad as when I was a child or in my early twenties, but it is still there. I have heard it said that the Satanic Bible is the best self-help book on the market. And for a fellow like me, I would have to agree. The little black book (along with other Satanic literature) has ignited the black fl

This is going to be more of a stream of consciousness kind of writing, a rant. But it burned within me until it reached my fingertips, aching to be out! On July 4th, it will be my first anniversary becoming an active member of the Church of Satan. Makes it really easy to celebrate and there will be fireworks! Simultaneously, the bombs will burst in the air, just like the black flame that crackles within me. I thought about my choice of joining. I can happily say that it was one of the best decisions I made in my life. I thought about options and where my life is going because one of my friends had an in-depth conversation with me that angered and saddened me at the same time. He made a wager, not knowing I am a Satanist, that he could convince me to be a Christian. I was polite, but inwardly I was becoming indignant. He asked for my honest opinion as to why I do not believe in god, let alone  his  chosen deity. I told him the truth, after all, I did not give my opinion unless

(Although I am an active member, I do not speak for the Church of Satan)  " I don't crave companionship. It stands in my way. I live for pleasure. There are few persons who can give me as much pleasure as those acts I perform myself. I would rather create pleasure according to my own whim than be subjected to the whims of others." ―Anton Szandor LaVey Of the sexual encounters I have had in my life, there are only a few which I considered mind-blowing. I can only count them on one hand. Yes, five fingers.  I was never much of a pickup artist; I always found it to be rude. I could never be bothered. The best experiences I had sexually were the people who found me usually by happenstance or sometimes by just turning on my old, strange, charm. I admit I am a weird one at times, and I am okay with that. I was never much of a try-hard with sexual encounters, but I never found myself in the pangs of sexual frustration or rapt in the angst of loneliness. When it co

On this day, fifty-four years ago, an extraordinary religion was formed, one that is a liberator for the few and diabolical for the many. Anton Szandor LaVey founded the Church of Satan on Walpurgis Night in 1966, and for those of us who picked up the black book, we threw our hats in with infernal glee. I want to take this Walpurgisnacht to ponder on why I am a Satanist. The reason? To keep it a buck with you—life has not been easy for me. The ravages have been mostly an internal one. I struggle with the lifelong ailment of bipolar disorder, and I have been finding it difficult to achieve goals; not to mention the constant fear-mongering during these uncertain times can weigh down even the most resolute. Thank the nine circles of hell that Walpurgisnacht is upon us! It will be useful to remind myself (and others who are struggling) why we need to keep that black flame stoked. Think of what this day represents. Not only was our beloved church founded, but this is also the day when t

(Although I am a member, I do not speak for the Church of Satan) With the advent of the dreaded COVID-19, most of us have been constrained to our homes. I have been asked by my family how I am holding up during this time of uncertainty. My response has been simple: “I'm doing good!” Satanists are no strangers to the idea of social distancing, as one of the cornerstones of our religion is individualism. The very nature of our church is non-congregational. Considering the stupidity of some white-light churches concerning this pandemic, we've been well prepared towards flattening the curve for decades now. Yes, the Church of Satan has always had a contingency plan for stupidity! And with COVID-19 stupidity might, for one of the rare times in history, actually be painful. I realize that some of the other members of my cabal have already given their thoughts on this issue. But I like cents, so expect to be just a little bit richer when I'm through giving my two. But when it