Walk on the Third Side

On this day, fifty-four years ago, an extraordinary religion was formed, one that is a liberator for the few and diabolical for the many. Anton Szandor LaVey founded the Church of Satan on Walpurgis Night in 1966, and for those of us who picked up the black book, we threw our hats in with infernal glee. I want to take this Walpurgisnacht to ponder on why I am a Satanist. The reason? To keep it a buck with you—life has not been easy for me. The ravages have been mostly an internal one. I struggle with the lifelong ailment of bipolar disorder, and I have been finding it difficult to achieve goals; not to mention the constant fear-mongering during these uncertain times can weigh down even the most resolute. Thank the nine circles of hell that Walpurgisnacht is upon us! It will be useful to remind myself (and others who are struggling) why we need to keep that black flame stoked. Think of what this day represents. Not only was our beloved church founded, but this is also the day when t

(Although I am a member, I do not speak for the Church of Satan) With the advent of the dreaded COVID-19, most of us have been constrained to our homes. I have been asked by my family how I am holding up during this time of uncertainty. My response has been simple: “I'm doing good!” Satanists are no strangers to the idea of social distancing, as one of the cornerstones of our religion is individualism. The very nature of our church is non-congregational. Considering the stupidity of some white-light churches concerning this pandemic, we've been well prepared towards flattening the curve for decades now. Yes, the Church of Satan has always had a contingency plan for stupidity! And with COVID-19 stupidity might, for one of the rare times in history, actually be painful. I realize that some of the other members of my cabal have already given their thoughts on this issue. But I like cents, so expect to be just a little bit richer when I'm through giving my two. But when it