Walk on the Third Side

  (Although I am a member, I do not speak for The Church of Satan)         I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Some people who know me may find it surprising, but I enjoy Mafia films. I love a good mob movie, no matter what kind of syndicate it is associated with.            Breaking Bad was a  binge-worthy good time.  A Bronx Tale  is a movie I have seen more times than I can count.  I adore Mario Puzo's writings, and Sega's  Yakuza game series enthralled me from start to finish. It got me thinking about how these various mafia groups function, and, being the Satanist I am, I tend to look at so many things from a third-side lens. Although Satanists are admonished from ever engaging in any illegal and criminal activity, I cannot help but see the Church of Satan as a kind of mafia of sorts.          To those who are fearful that we'll come rolling down in a blac...

  When I was a broke college student, I discovered the little black book that spoke to me better than any other tome. Wanting to know more about this idea of Satanism, I began to do more research as I browsed the recesses of the internet to search for more information. Luckily, I found the official Church of Satan website, or else I might have ended up congregating with some devil-worshiping kooks!       It was a no-brainer that I wanted to affiliate. When I discovered that doing so required understanding the Satanic Bible and paying a (at the time) two-hundred dollar fee, it all interlocked. The obsidian dominos of hell began to topple and fall into place. There was just one problem–the keyword I mentioned earlier was “broke.” I had empty pockets that, if you unfurled them inside out, the flies residing within would have been more than happy to escape, gasping for air and laughing at the expense of my poverty. To add insult to injury, I also did not have a prop...

    (Although I am a member, I do not speak for The Church of Satan)      Well, there's nothing "holy" about what I am going to discuss today but there will be plenty of infernal things to talk about! And it won't require me to dress up like the Boy Wonder to do it. (I don't look good in green undies, anyway) No, today I will discuss elevation, promotion, moving ahead, moving up, climbing the hellish ladder, or any other analogy which I can use to drop the news that--as of writing this piece--I am officially a Warlock in The Church of Satan.     It came as a complete surprise, but a welcomed one, and it could not have come at a better time! Much like many others the world over--times have been tough. The air around me has been heavy, with a sense of unease and although I have been doing peachy-keen personally, those I dearly care about have not been doing so great. While dealing with the sympathy pains, this "disturbance in the force," was beginning to...

  “ Satan represents all of the so-called sins as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!” -The 8th Satanic Statement If I were to be pressed by anyone to state which of the so-called “sins” is my favorite, it would be a tough choice. I dig sloth because who does not like to sleep in on a Sunday when so many Christians (some of my family members included) are forced to go to boring religious gatherings? Gluttony is also a fun time for me—especially regarding sweets. Do not let my slim frame fool you, dear reader; I love to eat sumptuous foods! Pride is also something I indulge in with, well,  pride.  I like a good suit and jewelry as much as the next warlock, and who doesn't like it when someone notices and says, “hey, lookin' good!” But if there is one single, solitary sin that I find the most gratification from—the one so-called foible that others try very hard to discourage me from; it would have to be  wrath . Why that one? Wrath is my fav...

  Some may say, "this is exposing too much" or "you're throwing yourself out to the wolves here." I'm not worried about that. Something that has been bubbling forth inside me for a while, something I grapple with, and this writing is a means for me to rectify this personal problem. One thing is for sure, it is, without a doubt, a cheaper form of therapy. Satanism warns us against hypocritical self-deceit, so here goes. I struggle with self-confidence and anxiety. I have been for several years. Chalk it up to upbringing, bad childhood experiences, my unique brain chemistry, or just plain being the weirdo that I am—I have an issue with self-image. Yes, it is not nearly as bad as when I was a child or in my early twenties, but it is still there. I have heard it said that the Satanic Bible is the best self-help book on the market. And for a fellow like me, I would have to agree. The little black book (along with other Satanic literature) has ignited the black fl...

This is going to be more of a stream of consciousness kind of writing, a rant. But it burned within me until it reached my fingertips, aching to be out! On July 4th, it will be my first anniversary becoming an active member of the Church of Satan. Makes it really easy to celebrate and there will be fireworks! Simultaneously, the bombs will burst in the air, just like the black flame that crackles within me. I thought about my choice of joining. I can happily say that it was one of the best decisions I made in my life. I thought about options and where my life is going because one of my friends had an in-depth conversation with me that angered and saddened me at the same time. He made a wager, not knowing I am a Satanist, that he could convince me to be a Christian. I was polite, but inwardly I was becoming indignant. He asked for my honest opinion as to why I do not believe in god, let alone  his  chosen deity. I told him the truth, after all, I did not give my opinio...