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This Thing of Ours!

 


(Although I am a member, I do not speak for The Church of Satan)

        I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Some people who know me may find it surprising, but I enjoy Mafia films. I love a good mob movie, no matter what kind of syndicate it is associated with. 
        Breaking Bad was a binge-worthy good time. A Bronx Tale is a movie I have seen more times than I can count. I adore Mario Puzo's writings, and Sega's Yakuza game series enthralled me from start to finish. It got me thinking about how these various mafia groups function, and, being the Satanist I am, I tend to look at so many things from a third-side lens. Although Satanists are admonished from ever engaging in any illegal and criminal activity, I cannot help but see the Church of Satan as a kind of mafia of sorts. 
        To those who are fearful that we'll come rolling down in a black car and come crawling out with bats to break your legs or roll up in black trenchcoats with tommy guns--relax. Turn on your figurative minds and look at how the mafia is structured, and one can see that the Church of Satan is not far off. 
        One of the similarities between the Mafia and the Church of Satan is that there is no physical headquarters for several Mafia groups, nor can anyone just ring up their local Don and ask if they can join.  You have to get your chops and prove that you can run with the big dogs--so to speak. I have also noticed that many Satanists (in my personal experience), much like mafiosi, come from tougher backgrounds; they have the grit to deal with the real world and do not fall victim to pipe-dreams, be they spiritual or otherwise. Street smarts is the name of the game, and stupidity is not just painful, it's downright deadly and a surefire way for a goodfella to get whacked.  Another parallel, Satanists look damn good while up to their devilish activities. When a guy becomes a made-man, the first thing a Don does is get him some snazzy new duds. There is no lack of aesthetics for a wise-guy; he wouldn't be caught dead without his lucky three-piece suit. 
        Although Satanists do not partake in Omerta like the Mob does, there is an unspoken rule that a Satanist should not "out" another member who does not wish to be public about their affiliation. Such an act is grounds for unceremonious removal from the Church of Satan. Breaking this rule could lead the offending (now former) member to sleep with the fishes. The Mafia takes a more extreme and literal approach in dealing with rule-breaking, but the same spirit of swift retribution is there. They don't tolerate shit disturbed, neither does the Church of Satan.
        While writing this, I also partook in the fun mental exercise of thinking of the hierarchy of the Church like a Mafia, and it goes as follows, with the Church's affiliation rank and the respective Mafia rank to follow:

        * Registered Member/Associate 
        * Satanist/Made-Man
        * Witch or Warlock/Caporegime
        * Priestess or Priest/Consigliere
        * Magister or Magistra/Underboss
        * Maga or Magus/The Don

        The biggest similarity I have noticed between the two is the fact that many of the stories I have heard (be they fictional or from accounts of former members of the Mafia in testimonials) is that members always felt like they never belonged in mainstream society. The feeling of alienation and then joining an organization that was on the fringes is a common tale for a lot of them. That, and coupled with the fact that they all had a drive to prove themselves and move up in the world, is a common trait with Satanists as well. Satanists have a drive to bring about their is-to-be and make the world in their own image. I utilized the tools in the Satanic Bible as a means to move myself through the world with purpose and strength. And although I never ran guns or had to put a hit on anyone, I certainly can relate to that feeling of not fitting in.
        The Satanic Bible showed me that I certainly was not the only one who thought this way. And the Church of Satan was exemplary in keeping the ideas of Anton LaVey--the original Don--alive and well. So I joined and have not looked back since. It's going to take a lot more than crazy religious fundamentalists, lot lice, and various losers from the herd to whack us. So let's just keep enjoying this "thing of ours" and continue ever forward. 


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