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Vital Existence or: "How I Learned to Stop Procrastinating and Worry About My Time"

(Although I am a member, I do not speak for the Church of Satan)


The second satanic statement is "Satan Represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams." For members of the infernal empire, this should come as a no-brainer on rejecting the spiritual world in favor of the carnal one.

We all know of the god-adorers, the holy-rollers, the sanctimonious, and the white-lighters. Satanists often scoff at such fools who waste their lives hoping for something better instead of making the best of the very one they possess, right here and now! It is a pipe dream, a Pollyanna perspective of the most bombastic kind.

However, there is an equally, albeit far less discussed, force that can suck away the vital existence of any Satanist. It starts with a P, and it creeps up slowly, leeching off of one's energy and drive to make the best of life. No, it is not the nearby preacher knocking on your door at nine in the morning; It is procrastination.

Procrastination is not apparent like the promises of the afterlife or the meanderings of a Sunday morning televangelist who plunders your mind along with your wallet. Procrastination can seem like a friend who will advise you (poorly) to "take it easy," or, "Why rush? it can be done tomorrow." I must admit, procrastination is insidious, and I have succumbed to its charms and whims several times throughout my life. It comes in like a lullaby but eats up your time until things around you turn into a nightmare of lost opportunities, deferred dreams, and unfulfilled ambitions.

So what can the Satanist do to guard against it?

Remember the simple Latin phrase of 'Memento Mori,' or 'Know that you are going to die.' Take a moment and look at a clock. Whether it is mounted on a wall, firmly planted on your wrist, or blinking on your cell phone. Look at the hours, the minutes, and then the seconds. As you are staring at your own timepieces and as I am writing this very essay those seconds, minutes, and hours are gone. Read that last sentence until it resonates. They are gone, and the truth of the matter is you will not get them back. Entropy marches forward, and it is uncompromising, it is unforgiving, and it will not relent. What are you doing, right now, to make this life of yours the best one possible? What are you, dear reader, doing with the world that is yours to "have and to hold" as the Doctor so eloquently put it?

Anton LaVey stated in an interview that he would scatter about his home with different skulls and death-related imagery. Needless to say, this perplexed onlookers with questions. Isn't Satanism supposed to be a life-affirming religion? So why the death, the skulls, and the spooky imagery? LaVey, with a smile, would respond (and I am paraphrasing) "Because they give me the reminder that I am going to die, so I have to live."

I own a few skulls and other trinkets and artifacts that are morbid in nature. In having constant reminders of death, it allows me to relish in the importance of my own life.  I notice that I do not have the patience for any kind of silliness that will rob me of my precious time; and everything I watch, read, play, and generally consume is put under a scrutinous microscope. Will this add to my enjoyment of life? This also applies to people who I choose to bring into my life. Avoid psychic vampires at all costs. This especially becomes more accurate the older I get.

So how does all of this relate to procrastination? Because procrastination is the psychic vampire of your goals. Once you finally figure out what you want to do with your life and you have a map of where you need to go; you must do your damnedest as a Satanist to reach it!

I think you know what to do, dear reader. So get off your butt and hustle because time waits for no one!

Carpe Diem!
Hail Satan!

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